Here’s another testimony

by

As a Christian, I feel compelled to tell others of the work God has done in my life. I also feel that it is my responsibility to help others who come from a situation similar to mine. You often hear that God works through bad to work for good. This is true, but it has been written off as a simple cliché to be glossed over and discarded.

This idea is not however one to be glossed over. It is the rallying cry for so many people. God has used the worst parts of my life to bring about the best parts. Through my pain, God has called me to a new level of closeness to him. He has comforted me and taught me things that up to a year ago I would not have seen as possible.

When I was an infant, my father abandoned my mother and me. I have seen him twice since then: once in Publix grocery store; the other time was at the local movie theater. I always wondered what it would be like if he had stayed, why he didn’t want me, and whether or not I would be accepted among my friends, because I had no father. My mother has loved me and done everything in her power to make me happy since the day I was born, but I always had these nagging thoughts in my head.

I never hated my father for abandoning me; Far from it. I longed for someone to teach me; someone to love me and accept me as their own. For years, I blamed myself for this. I called myself weak, and said if I had a son as repulsing as me that I would have left too. I blamed myself for my mother’s unhappiness, and the lines that were etched into her skin from the stress that is constantly on a single-mother. When I was five, she was married to a man named David. Though he was named as the man after God’s own heart, he was no such man. He was a weak man, vindictive and cruel. He suffered from bipolar disorder, but he was still responsible for his actions. He pretended to love me for two years, and even adopted me. A year later, my mom had a daughter and he no longer wanted or needed me to carry on the family name. For years, he verbally and physically abused me. He would backhand me to the floor, and kick me repeatedly. His reasons were things like the fact that I had forgot to make my bed, or I was going to make them late. He would hurt me, showing no mercy, and several times I feared for my life. As I grew, the beatings escalated, and three times my mom kicked him out of our house. For a time all was well.

Everything was good, except for me. The next year he returned and moved back in saying that he was better and he was on a new medicine. A week went by before he threw me to the floor and tried to throw me down the stairs. My mom had had enough. She had him arrested and filed for a divorce. During the divorce, we realized that he was addicted to prostitutes and had been with 100+ women during the marriage. My mom was devastated she cried for 3 days straight, and I hated this man even more. He had pushed this family beyond breaking point and I just wanted him to die.

I was suicidal for about two months and was checked into a children’s hospital. It helped me a lot with the fact that this was not my fault; But I still hated. It grew inside of me and ate me from the inside out. My life grew worse, at school I was bullied and actually had to change schools because of this. From there my life improved and I found the Lord. I loved him but I didn’t know him. I went on a family building retreat last October with my mother. This retreat was the single most important part of my life. I learned forgiveness, and it changed my life. I knew what he did, but I no longer hated him. I had truly forgiven him for those long years. This was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I no longer hurt. I no longer was constantly tired, or hurt. Forgiveness is the most important thing that has happened to me besides being saved. Because of this, I felt it was my responsibility as a Christian to share my testimony with you. If you have been abused in your life, or have general hurts, I want to be here to support you with empathy not sympathy. I want to help you get through this because I know how it is to go for years without any help. I pray for you even though I don’t know you, and will pray for you even more when I learn of you particular situation.

May the Lord bless you and keep you forever and ever. Amen.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: